


Free Bird

by Jeanne_de_Valois



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, Don't read unless you've seen the ep, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, I'M SERIOUS DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE EP, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Requited Love, Supernatural - Freeform, feelings confirmed, i got feelings, no beta we die like men, no salt, post-series Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:48:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27640261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeanne_de_Valois/pseuds/Jeanne_de_Valois
Summary: Heaven is an open road and not having to pay for gas.Heaven is a greasy sandwich and a novelty-sized candy bar.Heaven is awkward, shuffling, confusing.Heaven is getting to say what you wished you said, a lifetime ago.(A Coda to Supernatural 15.20- Carry On)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74





	Free Bird

_ Heaven is quiet when it wants to be,  _ Dean thought as he drove down the seemingly endless stretch of road. Jack had the right touches of Earth, memories of where he must have stared out of the window of the Impala, fingers to the cold, water-speckled glass. It must rain here occasionally- though Bobby had insisted that time worked differently here, it couldn't be perpetually spring. 

There was no need to stop for gas, he supposed. Heaven was a perpetually full tank of gas in a car that took too much money to fill. Or maybe Heaven would be a greasy sandwich at a gas station just up the road. 

Or maybe Heaven was-

Dean tugged at the wheel and pulled over on the empty stretch of endless highway, the Impala's tires digging into the gravel at the side of the road. He pushed open the door, into the perfectly crisp mountain air, and flipped open the trunk of the car. 

And Dean smiled. 

Even in Heaven, Cas's trenchcoat remained balled in a haphazard lump in the back seat of the Impala. 

* * *

Heaven had night. 

Dean had pulled over again to lay back on the hood of the Impala, his head tilted back to look up at the clear sky. Constellations wove across the sky in absolute clarity, unfettered by clouds or smog.

A perfect view. 

Cas's trenchcoat was smashed against the back of his head- a terrible pillow, but a comforting presence. Dean breathed in the cool, clear air, watching as a meteor streaked across the sky. He wouldn't have to wait long for Sam to return, but- but Sam could take his time. He wasn't lonely, per se. 

_ Time is different here.  _

Had he been here thirty minutes? A hundred years? What did  _ eternity  _ mean? 

_ Eternity was four months on Earth feeling like forty years in Hell.  _

_ Eternity was the soles of your shoes grinding into the rocks of Purgatory. _

_ Eternity was being chained to the back of a comet, streaking bright and terrifying and bold across the universe.  _

_ Eternity was watching your best friend in tears, smiling before he pushed you away as pure Emptiness swallowed him whole.  _

Dean sat up sharply, his breath clouding in the night air. 

Heaven was supposed to be perfect, Dean thought as his fingers curled in the lump of a trenchcoat. That didn't mean escaping bad memories of life, he supposed. But Heaven-  _ Jack's Heaven- _ meant that he was safe. There would be no monsters lurking in the woods, he'd only hunt for fun now. 

He'd have to get a hobby. Maybe fishing, but real this time. There was no one here to write a story of his life- Jack had left him with an open, empty slate. Without the constraints of hunting things, saving people- what did Dean want  _ now, _ for the rest of eternity? 

The prayer entered his mind without hesitation, and Dean suddenly knew exactly where he needed to go.

* * *

Dean knew the barn on sight.

It was still dark, but in the clear headlights of the Impala, Dean could see the structure planted  _ here, _ in the middle of his Heaven from the middle of time and  _ America.  _ Lights burned on the inside of the rickety structure, seals that would not stop angels painted visible through the open doors. 

Dean didn't bother turning off the Impala, only haphazardly throwing the gear into park before he bailed out of the door and ran like Hell was chasing him through the open doors.

"Hello, Dean." 

Dean stared at Castiel's beatific smile, open and familiar, his bright eyes watery. "I heard your prayer."

Heaven was  _ awkward.  _ Was Heaven supposed to be awkward? He had no idea what to say now. Those creatures that had ended up killing him, in the end, were known to cut out tongues- maybe they'd been able to nab his before he shuffled off that mortal coil. What do you say to someone- someone you didn't even know was capable of human emotions like love- smiles at you and tells you they love you with all the swell of emotion that both ends their life and changes yours? 

"You- you still look like- you."  _ Great. Perfect.  _ Castiel's head tilted like a bird, his brows creasing in mild confusion before Dean gestured awkwardly to Cas's body. He looked how he did when Dean last saw him- familiar lines in his face, broad trenchcoat, hair in disarray. "You know- we're in Heaven now. You could be a wheel with eyes on fire now, and you probably wouldn't burn my eyes out." 

Castiel laughed, familiar in a way that made Dean feel  _ heartsick.  _ "Seraphs have six wings, but my true form would be...  _ prodigious, _ Dean." 

"Prodigious." 

"Very large." 

"Right." Dean looked down, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Guess that would make it harder for me to say hi." 

Castiel remained at the other side of the barn, unmoving. As Dean lifted his head to take a look at him, Castiel looked- content. 

Content just to see him. That made Dean's stomach  _ twist _ with guilt, with unsaid words- 

"Cas-"

"Dean-"

Castiel paused, laughing again as Dean huffed. "Dean, I am-" Cas's gaze softened, his hands open at his sides. "I do not have words for this moment. When Jack reformed the Empty- I knew I would see you again, if you wished that. But when we last parted- I was content knowing that would likely be the last I saw of you." 

Dean felt like he was swallowing glass. How could just the act of speaking love like that leave him feeling so  _ happy _ when it- 

It had changed him, in the end. Chuck was wrong- Dean wasn't some blunt object, a remorseless killing machine, incapable of- 

"I am happy to be in your existence now, Dean." Castiel was speaking again, his bright eyes watery. "In whatever way you wish. Just knowing you are content here is more than anything I could ask for." 

"You're lying." The rough words had left Dean's lips before he could stop them, and Castiel's eyes grew wider. Dean took a step forward, then another, before he was barrelling towards Cas. Castiel stiffened like he was a monster Dean was prowling after, but Dean caught Cas's face in his hands. "I should have found a way to drag you out of the Empty." 

Castiel blinked, his brows knitting together in confusion again. "You couldn't have- not without Jack's help, I don't think-"

"Let me finish." Dean's voice was firmer than he meant to, and Castiel swallowed. Dean brushed his thumbs back against his stubbled jaw-  _ even in Heaven-  _ and forced himself to continue talking. "You saved me, Cas. But when you left, I- I wanted to pull you out of the Empty. Wanted to bring you home, where you belonged." 

Castiel swallowed again, his eyes fixed and wide. Dean let out a huff, shaking his head. "Never got the chance, I guess." 

"I'm sorry it was so soon," Castiel murmured, lifting his hands to carefully brush his fingers against Dean's jacket. His touch was so delicate- like Dean was a glass figurine that would shatter under his hands. "But even if you found a way to the Empty, you wouldn't have found me there." 

"I didn't want a life without you, Cas." Dean leaned forward, touching his forehead to Castiel's as he shut his eyes. He could hear shuddering breath as Cas's fingers curled in the front of his jacket. "I saved two kids. Died on my own two feet," his breath shook, mingling with Castiel's breath. "If I brought you back- I don't know if I ever would have been able to retire. I would have brought you back to that, Cas. I would have died there, or in a car accident, or some other hunt, and we would have been apart again." 

_ "Dean-"  _ Cas's voice keened, his hands scrambling up to grab Dean's arms. 

"But I've got forever now, right? Eternity?" Dean opened his eyes and pulled his head back to look down at Cas, his bright eyes wet with tears again. "No more danger."

Castiel smiled, his voice catching between a laugh and a sob. "No more fear."

"Anything I want." 

Castiel nodded, his eyes crinkling with tears and a smile. "Yes, anything you-"

Dean's fingers flexed at Cas's jaw, and he surged down, pressing their lips together. Castiel swayed under his grasp- Dean could feel him blink, his fingers locked tightly in his sleeves, before a strangled,  _ relieved  _ noise bubbled from the back of Cas's throat. Dean shifted his grip as Castiel threw his arms around him, drawing them together into a new warmth, a new light. 

* * *

"So, you probably have Heaven business you need to take care of." 

"Mn." Castiel lolled his head against Dean's shoulder. They were back on the hood of the Impala- now turned off, even if Heaven didn't charge for gas, they didn't need them smell- wrapped in each other's arms. "It can wait." 

"I do want to see Jack again." Dean's lips found Cas's hair, and his laugh rumbled against his chest. 

"He'd like that." 

"I understand that we probably can't be together all the time." 

Castiel lifted his head, his smile suddenly mischievous, his voice knowing. "I think it would cease to be Heaven if we were chained at the hip for eternity. Eternity is a very long time, Dean." 

"Nice to think about, though." Dean's mouth tugged in a smile, "Knowing it's an option." 

Castiel lifted his head and his hands, cradling Dean's face. "In those spots of eternity, though- I will always have a place beside you." 

Dean carded his hand back through Castiel's hair, the casualness of the touch sending a shock through him. "When I- when I settle in a place- will you stay with me?" 

Castiel smiled, catching his hand to entwine their fingers together. "I will." 

Dean brought their hands to his mouth, kissing Cas's fingers. The small, wonderous gasp that left Cas's mouth sent his soul  _ singing.  _ "This is your Heaven too, I guess."

Castiel's smile grew. "Jack may have mentioned something about me deserving rest as much as you did." 

"Then- until I find a place to settle-" Dean's voice wavered, his eyes flickering over the new form of Heaven cradling his hand, "Ride around with me in Baby for a while?" 

And they did. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'M IN A GLASS CASE OF EMOTION
> 
> I liked the finale tho


End file.
